i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
