Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
well most of my day revolves around power hour
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
