so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
