you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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