do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
