i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
