drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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