He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
