I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
