Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
