You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
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