Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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