i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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