trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
