did you get engaged???
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
