He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
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