wat bout pragnant strippers??
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
