Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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