He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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