Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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