Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
