so explain again why im purple
no
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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