so that wasnt chicken after all
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
it's like iHOP with fire
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
