i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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