he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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