i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
