does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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