Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
