I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
