Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she smelled like a LAN party
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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