My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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