we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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