I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
