this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
