If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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