I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
