i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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