So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she pinky promised me she was 18
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i would one night stand the shit outta him
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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