I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
