Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
