You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
