That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
