Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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