yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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