Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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