but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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