any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
