hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
and she was petting her beer can
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
