She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
