I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
