it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
wow bdsm is so cute
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
