Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
